In Islam, parents are responsible for raising their children in accordance with the pure teachings of Islam. Parents take care of their children’s food, clothing, and general upbringing in the early years of life. As time passes and children progress into their teenage years, the task of parenting teens becomes increasingly complex.
Teenagers are particularly vulnerable to falling into bad habits. They can easily go down the wrong path if their parents don’t sufficiently fulfill their roles. Especially in today’s world of temptation and vice, teens can easily be exposed to various vices that plague society. Whether it is through friends who are bad influences and corrupt their minds and manners, or the immense variety of indecent content that exists on the internet, there are numerous ways in which teenagers can succumb to all sorts of sins and evil desires.
Social media can also be dangerous for teens if they are using it in the wrong way. Strangers with ill intentions can prey on vulnerable teens if they don’t know what all they are supposed to avoid online. Therefore, the onus is on Muslim parents to ensure that they have a healthy relationship with their teenage children. Parents should be a positive influence in their children’s lives. They should protect them from evil and strive to keep them steadfast on the straight path.
Islamic tip for parenting teens: Be kind to them
There is no doubt that children will generally be more receptive to parents who treat them kindly. Parents should show care for teens and adopt a gentle approach as much as possible. They should assist their teenage kids without losing patience. Parents should avoid getting frustrated with teens and losing their temper. Shouting at teenagers and being angry with them can backfire as it can have a detrimental effect on the child.
It is essential to exercise patience and be wise when dealing with teenagers. They can undoubtedly test their parents’ patience to a great extent at times. However, it is vital for the parents to adopt a moderate approach rather than being unnecessarily harsh and alienating teenagers. Teenagers, in general, can be rather emotional and irrational at times. With rage and anger, teens may end up resenting their parents and rebelling against them.
There is no doubt that discipline and being firm is essential at times. Nevertheless, being violent and aggressive towards children is not beneficial. It is through kindness and love that parents and children bond. Affection from one’s parents increases love for them in his heart, along with the desire to obey them.
Conversely, if a teen always gets harsh and impatient treatment from his parents, his bond with them is likely to deteriorate. In this case, the teen is likely to rebel and become stubborn and defiant. This can result in the child developing excessive fear of his parents. He may start lying to them and deceiving them due to his fear of them. Such an outcome is undoubtedly not what any sensible parent desires. Parents need to take great care to show kindness to teens in order to build a strong bond with them.
Islamic tip for parenting teens: Discipline them when necessary
Parents must balance the kind treatment of their teens with disciplining them when needed. Although kindness is the ideal approach, there are certain situations where discipline is a must. However, parents should not punish teens for every little error. Discipline also requires wisdom. Children should be punished when kindness proves ineffective. If a teen ignores parental advice, orders, etc., punishment becomes a suitable option.
As far as the punishment is concerned, it should be something that will prove useful in resolving the issue. For instance, one may struggle to get one’s teenage kids to stop spending long hours watching television. In such a situation, parents might decide what they will permit their kids to watch. They can ensure that the kids are only allowed to watch content that is beneficial and free of anything that is inappropriate.
If the kids do not follow the rules laid down by their parents, or if, for example, they exceed the time that their parents have permitted them to watch TV for, their parents can take a firm approach and stop them from watching any TV for a whole day to teach them a lesson. If they continue to disobey their parents’ instructions, they can receive a lengthier ban from watching TV, or any penalty that sufficiently disciplines them and proves effective in making them obey their parents.
Thus, kind treatment may not always be the ideal approach when dealing with teens. Depending on the situation, parents should determine if and how their children should be disciplined. Parents should always punish their kids in a manner that will be effective and will not be detrimental or harmful. The punishment should be reasonable and not be so harsh that it drives the teen away.
Parents should be good role models
Children tend to look up to their parents. They often imitate the behavior and habits of their parents. Obviously, as a parent, one would not want kids to imitate their bad habits, such as being rude to others, driving recklessly, being dishonest and untruthful, and being violent or ill-tempered with one’s spouse. Hence, parents should strive to become positive role models for their children.
Parents should try their best to emulate the noble conduct of the Prophet (PBUH). They should be well-mannered, treat others with kindness, show generosity, patience, honesty, and adopt all characteristics that are virtuous. Parents should be disciplined in their prayers and all other acts of worship, always demonstrating how believers should be devoted to Allah. We should be fair in all our dealings and never cheat or deceive, as we would not want our kids to follow us in such evil actions.
Additionally, parents must emphasize the importance of taking Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as the ultimate role model. Nowadays, many kids wrongly look up to celebrities and famous people as role models. This is a glaring issue that Muslim parents urgently need to address. The one and only ideal role model of every believer is the Prophet (PBUH). Moreover, the vast majority of celebrities, sports stars, etc., in the world are deeply flawed people, who we, as Muslims, should never make the mistake of taking as role models.
A good environment is vital for teens
Muslim parents should do their best to provide their kids with a good environment. Islamically speaking, a good environment is one where good is prevalent and encouraged, while evil is looked down upon and discouraged. Therefore, one should try to avoid living in a neighborhood that has no Muslim families, as this is not good for teens. In such areas, teenagers can be exposed to all sorts of evils. In such a situation, it is best to move to an area where there are a good number of Muslims, mosques, etc., as such an environment is less likely to encourage sins and bad behavior.
Being in a predominantly Muslim environment is also crucial because it can determine the kind of company teenagers keep. It is essential to safeguard teens from mingling with the wrong crowd. One should facilitate an environment in which his kids can befriend righteous fellow Muslims. Furthermore, it is crucial to monitor the online environment of one’s children. They should not be allowed to befriend problematic, potentially dangerous individuals on social media.
Teens should not be allowed to mingle with people who encourage things that are Haram on social media. Additionally, they should only be allowed to use the internet for beneficial purposes, which are free from all that is Haram. Their online environment should exclude all content that is vulgar and inappropriate, according to Islam.
Social media can be beneficial if teens interact with righteous believers who share Islamic reminders, enjoining good and forbidding evil. Similarly, the internet’s abundant resources can be utilized for the honorable purpose of gaining authentic Islamic knowledge.
Parents should pray for their children
Parents should regularly make dua for their kids, particularly at times such as the last third of the night and when prostrating. They should ask Allah to make their children righteous and guide them. As we learn in Surah Al-Furqaan, making dua for one’s children is among the qualities of the upright servants of Allah. Believers should always turn to Allah when they want something. Therefore, all parents should frequently call on Allah and ask him to keep their kids steadfast on the straight path.
Wrapping Up
Finally, raising teenagers is a difficult job that demands a fine balance of being kind, strict, and setting positive example. With so many temptations and negative influences around us today, a crucial role of Muslim parents in leading teenagers to righteousness cannot be overemphasized. Effective parenting of teenagers requires creating a conducive environment, being good examples, and fervently praying for guidance of their children.
